After getting married, when asked the question of when we would have kids, our reply would be: “We’ll try when we are ready.” But is anyone really ever ‘ready’? There are no books or classes that can really prepare you for the rollercoaster adventures you endure whilst being a parent.
I discovered I was pregnant with Chunks over a year ago now. We weren’t planning for it to happen at that particular time, nor did we really feel ‘ready’. But now, 7 months in, there’s already so much we have learned, both together and individually.
Parenting is difficult, regardless of age:
Regardless of feeling ‘ready’, having read a whole bookshelf of parenting books, or having gone to a thousand parenting classes: it gets difficult for everyone. Whether you’re having a baby at 20 or 40, you’ll still get sleep-deprived, you’ll still lose your patience, it’ll still take you an hour to get out of the house because the baby decided at that moment to have a poop explosion, or throw up all down their fresh outfit (we’ve all been there), and you’ll still have a little cry. But then, you’re also not alone.
Your friendships change:
Honestly, when I became a mum, I found that my little circle of trusties wasn’t so much a circle anymore, but I wasn’t going to be the one to make all the effort. You also find that you become pickier with the kind of friends you have, “Is this the kind of person I want my child around?”, “Is this person always going to be in my child’s life?”, “Is this person even a true friend?”. But thankfully, something about being a new mum opened my eyes to peoples true colours and I really learnt who my true friends are.
Money doesn’t grow on trees:
It’s crazy how having a little baby to care for completely whips you into reality. You don’t really realise beforehand how much they will be relying on you. Before we had Chunks we weren’t in comfortable money, but we still spent it about. Instead of thinking about what I can buy for myself, it’s: ‘what does my baby need?’. You truly see the value of going to work every day to make money to make sure you can get all your child needs.
You’ll never stop learning:
There will always be new things to learn and new challenges. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. Why? Because every family, every person, and every situation is different. So just be a real one.
When people said: “Enjoy them now, it’ll go by so fast”, I would laugh and roll my eyes. Now, every moment is precious, time really does fly! In the blink of an eye, your baby will be smiling, then sitting up alone, then eating, then crawling etc. Treasure every single moment.
My life may not be the same as I was used to, but waking up every morning to a smiling little girl who thinks I am her hero, who will one day say ‘Mummy’, is the best thing in the world.